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Posted by Gergaloth - December 10th, 2007
THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS
1 Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
2 Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
3 Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
4 Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
5 Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
6 Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
7 Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of this "divine spiritual and intellectual development", has become the most vicious animal of all!
8 Satan represents all of those so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
9 Satan has been the best friend of the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!